so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize