grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
