it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
one might say we're banned from that church
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
