Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
