your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
