You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
