It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
