did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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