it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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