The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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