My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
