Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
