Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
