That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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