Christians are straight up FREAKS
I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
