yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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