I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I don't deserve a penis
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize