i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
