You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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