If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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