His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize