he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
