I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
