i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
