Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
