Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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