Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
The best revenge is premature balding
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She's the barista slut.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
