he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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