It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
