there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
