dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
