Me too!
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
