we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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