They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
