i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Randomize
