this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
