I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
