new low.... made out with someone while peeing
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
