Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
