can u get pink eye on your cock?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
