We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
