I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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