I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
