is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize