You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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