I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I just blew my weed a kiss
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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