i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize