around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Randomize
