the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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