i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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