So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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