Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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