plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
They have beer where we have blood.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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