i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize