you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
