Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
