Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
