were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
