i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
even my farts smell like vagina
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
