I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
That's intense
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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