I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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