Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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