didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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