This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I am naked and annoyed.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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