You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
