They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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