i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
