that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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