my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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