don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
