Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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