how can u be prego again
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
